Home Again

Hi All,
I just returned home from vacation, and was greeted with suspicion by the cab driver who picked me up at the airport. I suppose he had not seen anyone dressed like this since he left his native country. I will admit my attire was in marked contrast to that of my fellow travelers. In lieu of gym shoes, jeans, and a baseball cap, I was wearing battle fatigues, combat boots, knee and elbow pads as well as a black velvet riding helmet (horse, not bike). Along with my luggage, I was carrying an adorable white rubber goose dressed in bathing trunks sitting in an inner tube - the goose squawks when squeezed.

I had to reassure the cab driver that the address I gave him was indeed my home address and not that of a mental institution or outpost for eccentrically dressed freedom fighters. OK you are probably wondering why I was dressed in this attire. No, I was not riding in a fox hunt or preparing for an assault from a foreign country. It is quite simple, and, as I already told you, I was returning home. Come now readers, we all know what this means: Baron will be waiting. The dog who greets me with unbounded enthusiasm upon my return from bringing in the mail (perhaps he thinks there is a letter for him) is usually apoplectic when I return home from a long journey. Definition of long: anything 1 hour or more. In this case, it was "more" as in 2 weeks.

I cautiously entered the house and heard excited barking. I opened the door to the kitchen and Baron sprang. He took little notice of the squawking goose I held in front of him. It was then that I realized my near-fatal mistake: I should have forgone the outfit described above and instead worn a suit of armour. Baron now weighs 70 pounds and is totally unaware of how large he is. He is a toddler in dog's clothing. Like a toddler, Baron wants to sit in his Mommy's lap, even if "Mommy" is now sprawled on the ground, trying to remove her riding helmet (which is very uncomfortable when you are lying on a marble floor), and still holding the rubber goose in an effort to divert Baron's attention.

Anyway, you have the idea. I am home now, and will give you more updates on life at Poodle Place - bruises and all!
Achingly,
Botswain