Thursday, November 3, 2011

Halloween

Hi All,
Thankfully Halloween is but a fading memory (although I still have some Snickers if anyone is interested).  I received several inquiries re: Baron's Halloween costume.  Sorry dear reader, but Baron's Halloween costume was not finished in time for Trick or Treat (not that it stopped him).   Baron wanted to dress up as an "Obedient Dog" but was unable to get his costume ready in time.  We here at Poodle Place are hopeful that it will be ready by next Halloween.  Don't hold your breath.
Botswain

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Meanwhile in the kitchen...

Hi All,
Master and I returned home this evening to discover that our home had been invaded!  A bandit actually raided our kitchen.  He (call this a clever assumption) opened a "lazy Susan cabinet" and helped himself to: flour, uncooked pasta, cans of vegetables (which thankfully he was unable to open - he has yet to master the use of a can opener).  I am sure you are wondering who the crook could possibly be - or perhaps you aren't wondering at all.  Yep, Baron strikes again! 
At this point I need Betty Crocker as our dog trainer aka cooking instructor.
All for now, I'm still cleaning.
Botswain

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Rally On

Hi All,
Due to matters beyond Baron's control, he missed a couple of Rally classes, thus retaining his "worst in class" rating.  This is the rare moment when Baron can't be blamed for his difficulty.    Unfortunately, it is the result of handler error.  The good news, is that the instructor has given up on us (mostly me) and lets us try our best to follow the course.  Baron loves it.  He doesn't know that his handler (OK - that would be me) has difficulty determining right from left.  He thinks he is doing a great job; a thought process I reinforce.

I have to admit it was a little nauseating when the woman with the papillion demonstrated her dog's "free dance."  I have never heard of free dance, but judging by the dog's ability to twirl on command and do several figure eights between her handler's legs (also on command), it seems to be something that is not in Baron's (or his handler's) future.
Our last class is Tuesday, an evening I am eagerly anticipating.
All for now,
Botswain

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Rally Around Me

Hi All,
Dear readers, as you may recall, our brave but coordination-challenged heroine (that would be me) is taking a Rally class with her handsome, enthusiastic, graceful pooch (that would be Baron). 
This class is quite a challenge - for me, not Baron.  Baron loves it.  I am having difficulty navigating the course. Baron knocked over 2 cones, went in the wrong direction and stepped on a broad jump; none of which was his fault.  The instructor is trying very hard to be patient (with me, not Baron).  I have instructed Baron to observe attentively when the other dogs take their turns, so he will know what to do.  Unfortunately, there are written instructions at each obstacle, and Baron, smart as he is, is still unable to read.  He therefore depends on me to both read and implement the instructions.  Herein lies the problem.

Try as I might, I turn left instead of right, heel Baron into a cone instead of around it, do a 360 turn instead of a 240, etc. etc. etc.  It is very amusing for the class to observe; think of it as comic relief.  When Baron and I execute a somewhat reasonable approximation of the course, the class actually applauds. The instructor, who is an equestrian, has expressed her gratitude that I am working with a poodle, not a Clydesdale.

All for now, Baron wants me to practice for our next class.
Botswain

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Bank

Hi All,
In case, dear readers, you think the only place where Baron is popular is the Optical Shop (remember, he has boosted their sales) you are wrong!  He is also well-liked at our neighborhood bank, probably because he has not been implicated in the recent increase of bank robberies in our community (I kid you not - on both counts).  The bank tellers greet him by name, and the bank officers leave their desks to say "hello" (to Baron, not me). The tellers all know about Baron's allergies, and therefore don't offer him treats.  They are even considering investing in special dog treats that are Baron-friendly (duck and potato). The mailman also greets Baron warmly; he is probably happy to receive a nonviolent welcome from a large dog - or any dog, for that matter.

As a result of his popularity at the bank, Baron assumes all bank visitors are also delighted to see him.  Unfortunately this is not necessarily the case.  While Baron's loyal employee (that would be me) was writing a check, Baron quickly abandoned his "sit" command to greet a bank customer.  This particular customer was not, let me repeat, not a fan of Baron (or any dog - you know the type).  Hence, when Baron, in an effort to establish eye contact, gracefully rose to his hind legs (aka jumped), she was, well, appalled. Fortunately, Baron's brave handler (also me), responding quickly, glared at the startled woman and insisted that she greet Baron warmly and with proper etiquette.  I commented on her lack of empathy - I mean, imagine Baron's hurt feelings!  OK, I might be exaggerating.  I was lucky to grab the buoyant Baron before he have her a big hug.

Life is always interesting here at Poodle Place.  I have to take Baron for a walk, more later.
Botswain

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Baron 75, Master 10

Hi All,
This has been a trying week at Poodle Place.  You may recall that Master selected Baron as our "bed pal".  After creating a "monster", so to speak, Master decided to move Baron to the "extra" bedroom, also known as the "kitchen".  Unfortunately, while Baron appears to be sleeping comfortably on his plush bed in the kitchen, he prefers our bed.
Last night, one of us (hopefully not me) failed to completely close the bedroom door.  Baron ended up in our bed, snugly sleeping in the "middle".  Master tried to move him over, and gently (or not so gently) kicked him.  The end result is that Baron is absolutely fine (thank goodness) but Master has a broken little toe (the kind of break where the toe is hanging at an angle).  Master is extremely uncomfortable, but Baron has no complaints.  Hence, the current score is: Baron 75, Master 10.  Actually, Master thinks Baron's score might actually be higher but can't bear to face defeat.
More Later,
Botswain

The Rally

Hi All,
OK - who has heard of Rally?  No not the kind where you support your favorite team, but the dog kind of rally.  Baron just had his 1st Rally class, which, unfortunately, involved me.  You (and your dog) complete a course where there are about 15 sets of instructions.  As you get to each number, you follow the instructions.  For the directionally challenged (me, not Baron) the 270 degree turn was bit of a setback.  The good news is that only one dog goes at a time.  Hence Baron does not have many opportunities to interact with his classmates;  this is a good thing, as Baron still doesn't play well with others.
Botswain

Monday, September 5, 2011

Should We?

Hi All,
Baron and I (mostly me) are considering taking a Rally class.  This is very brave of us for several reasons:
1) I am not sure what a Rally Class is.
2) We have not taken a class since May.
3) The trainer for his last class referred to Baron as "exuberant".  This is a euphemism for obedience-challenged.
I will keep you posted.
Botswain

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Still Obedience-Challenged

Hi All,
Things have been hectic here at Poodle Place.  Baron's human siblings have left the doghouse, so to speak.  Hence, it is just myself, Master, and Baron left at home.   We are all sad, but Baron is handling it well.  During a search for his siblings, he made a valiant effort to squeeze under Young Master's door.  It didn't work.  He tried putting his rather large proboscis under the door - no luck.  When I showed him the empty room, he whimpered.  How sweet is that?
As for the Young Mistress, Baron was invited to ride in the car when I took her to the airport.  Hint: The invitation was not from me, although he behaved admirably   Baron propped himself up in "navigating" position, regardless of how many times I told him we have an actual navigator.  Although I got lost, we made it to the airport on time.  Baron was very proud of himself!

All for now.  Baron wants his bedtime story.
Botswain

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Party for Baron

Hi All,
There will be a party in Baron's honor at the Optical Shop in our neighhborhood.  Why is the Optical Shop giving Baron a party, you might ask?  BECAUSE, ONCE AGAIN, HE MUNCHED ON THE LENS IN MASTER'S EYE GLASSES!!!  Business had been slow, and the Optical Shop is grateful that Baron is doing his part to bolster the economy.
Botswain
PS
Master is not grateful!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Winnie the Poodle

Hi All,
While walking with Baron today, we ran into (not literally) an 11 week old standard poodle puppy, named Winnie the Poodle.  How cute is that?  She is black like Baron and jumps on me like Baron does (of course he is a little older - and bigger).  Her owner's only complaint is that she has a little trouble walking on the leash, as she prefers to be a follower.  She is probably less challenging than Alpha Boy.  She is absolutely adorable and is great in her crate, unlike a certain Baron.  Of course Baron's crate difficulties are the result of "Master's" not wanting to leave the little tyke in a cage, heaven forbid.
Even Master agreed that Winnie the Poodle is darling and a relative of hers might be a nice addition to the family.  Maybe I'll have to "borrow" Winnie to wile Master with her poodle ways.  I'm sure Baron would love to be a big brother. ha ha
All for now,
Botswain

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hi All,
Unfortunately Baron has received little attention this week as his sort of sibling, Kiki, the 12 year old German Shepherd required a lot of attention from yours truly.  Kiki needed to be boarded, as her owner lost electricity.  Yes, I volunteered to take her to the boarding facility, not that there were any other offers.  Kiki's behavior put Baron to shame.  She was perfectly behaved in the car (although it took some doing to get her in the car), and ignored the growling, snarling pug, as well as the over-anxious Irish Setter.  She did not enthusiastically jump on any humans - myself included. 
Maybe Kiki should give Baron some pointers (and I don't mean retrievers)!
All for now,
Botswain

Friday, July 22, 2011

Therapy Dog

Hi All,
I know, you are reading the heading of today's blog entry, and thinking that Baron has finally made it as a therapy dog - WRONG!!!  Actually I had an offer from someone who wanted to loan me a therapy dog. I told her it would not be therapeutic for Baron.  Although, maybe he could use a therapy dog?  Actually, I think he might be a therapy dog, because his greeting of guests to our home has probably sent some of them to therapy.
Let's face it dear readers, I will never pass muster as a behaviorist.
Botswain

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Refresher

Hi All,
Baron is back to his exuberant tricks.  He is, as usual, delighted to greet guests to our home.  Our guests can't decide if they would prefer a "worried" greeting (perhaps with a questioning growl?) or a warm greeting.  Baron's warm greeting can include the following:
1) joyful, enthusiastic barking
2) running around the living room and jumping over couches
3) trying to beat the guest to the room she plans to enter
4) a special (and I might add meticulous) shower Baron style.  This involves licking any body part not covered by clothing.  Baron is a stickler for cleanliness.
5) If he is especially fond of the guest, he might climb into her lap, if allowed (the answer is NO)
6) kisses - preferably on the face
Obviously, Baron needs a refresher.  His faithful servant (that would be me) was planning on joining yet another dog class, but life seems to be intruding.
I will keep you all posted.  I will have to make time to work with Baron, and will keep you all posted on how that goes.  Right now he is having a spa day.
All for now,
Botswain

Monday, July 11, 2011

This Little Piggy went to the Market

Hi All,
I am actually embarrassed to admit that Market Day was a complete success!  Why am I embarrassed, you might ask?  I am embarrassed because Trainer #6 did such a great job with Baron that literally all of the farmers who have stalls at the Farmer's Market complimented Baron and Trainer #6.  He behaved beautifully, even when in the presence of other dogs.  There were only one or two glitches, and these occurred when his faithful servant - that would be me - was holding the leash.
I do believe the farmers have high expectations for Baron and his faithful servant on our next Market Day - Wednesday!  We had better practice being friendly to dogs and humans.
Wish us luck.
Botswain

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hi All,
Baron has been quite the trooper at sleeping all by himself in the kitchen (I think he might be brushing up on his cooking).  In fact, when I enter the kitchen in the morning, Baron is usually asleep on his bed.  Unfortunately, his bed takes up half of the kitchen - thank goodness he is comfortable!
Due to Baron's behavior at the Farmer's Market, tomorrow we have a refresher with Trainer #6.  Baron is delightful unless he sees another dog - enough said!
Botswain
PS
Upon discussing this with Trainer #6, she indicated that she has been "too easy" on us.  What does that mean?  Could she be pointing a manicured finger at me?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I'm back!

Hi All,
After a relaxing vacation I am once again home with Baron.  Upon entering the house, Baron welcomed me in the manner any parent of a human toddler would be proud of.  He gave a flying leap, nearly knocking over myself, my husband and the taxi driver standing behind us.  Alex, the driver, expressed regret that Baron paid little attention to him.  His feelings were hurt.  Really?  He must be sturdier than us.  After his impressive jump, Baron tried very hard to contain his enthusiasm.  He jumped over the couches and raced up and down the stairs.  I am seriously considering an agility class - he might have talent.

Baron behaved fairly well in our absence.  He didn't have any poodle parties, was not caught eating sourdough bread (i.e. no need for detox) and didn't pounce on the new puppy next door (of course the 5 foot fence helps). 
Now that I'm home, I do have to revisit dog training.  We have exceeded the 6 lesson package that Trainer #6 usually recommends for her clients, but, Baron is no ordinary client.
All for now,
Botswain

Friday, May 13, 2011

SUCCESS!!!

Hi All,
Great news here at Poodle Place!  Baron's behavior has actually improved!  Isn't that amazing?  I know, dear readers, you had your doubts - so did I.  As many of you know, I have never divulged the true identities of Baron's trainers in order to protect their reputations.  Trainer number 6 has no need to remain anonymous, shocking though that might be.  Her name is Debra Thomas, and she has done one heck of job working with Baron and his beloved handler (that would be me).  Debra even has a web site - she is obviously not technologically challenged as Baron's handler (ahem) is.  Her web site is: www.animalaffinity.biz
Baron is no longer the 2nd worst in his dog obedience class, although the miniature daschund is still the worst - you just can't tell if he's standing or sitting (that is a daschund for you).  Baron and his beloved handler (that would be me) even received a compliment from the handler of the 2 golden receivers; you remember her, the one who insisted that Baron was not facing forward?  I am happy to report that she noticed the improvement in Baron's behavior and was generous enough to comment on it.
I think Baron deserves the "most improved" award.
All for now,
Botswain

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Applause

Hi All,
Baron and I went for a walk tonight and the most amazing thing happened.  I was able to heel him past 2 huskies who were barking in their yard (fenced-in thank heavens)! A woman (who I didn't see at first) applauded us!!!  Isn't that terrific?  She was walking her dog and saw us successfully maneuver past the diversion.  I told her it's her turn now, but she said she's not ready to take on the huskies.
Maybe Baron's 6th trainer is actually helpful!
All for now,
Botswain
PS
The trainer for our dog obedience is not applauding us.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Class #5, but who is counting?

Hi All,
Tuesday night was Baron's 5th dog obedience class (he could only attend 4), and he got mixed reviews.  He is definitely improving, but is not gaining in popularity amongst the dog handlers.  One handler told me (at least twice) that Baron was not facing directly forward.  Really lady, get a ruler.  A doberman pinscher nudged him during the infamous "figure eights", and Baron didn't budge.  I was rather proud of him.  I really hope there will not be an exam during the final class.  I always get test anxiety.
Baron's trainer is hinting that the problem is not all Baron's; I wonder what she means by that?
All for now,
Botswain

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Beat (or class) goes on

Hi All,
Baron's 4th class was tonight.  Last week he was successful in class and it went to his head.  Once we got home, he nipped me until I took him downstairs, ran him through some commands until he finally got tired and went to sleep.
Tonight I won't have that problem because he is spending a couple of days with his personal trainer.  I told her Baron prefers to sleep in the middle and she insisted that no dogs sleep in her bed.  We'll see.
Baron is doing fairly well in class.  He is smart and learns quickly (quicker than his beloved handler - that would be me).  It is hard to be a successful handler when you confuse right and left - but no one is perfect.
All for now,
Botswain
PS
I wish the trainer and her husband good luck sleeping tonight.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Good News and Bad News

Hi All,
Baron attended his 2nd Novice Dog Obedience Class on Tuesday.  Believe it or not, there is a lot of good news.
1) Baron did not cry, bark and pace for the entire night after his dog obedience class; for those of us who live with him, this was huge!
2) Baron was not the worst dog in the class.
OK, maybe there isn't a lot of good news, but there was some.  Now on to the bad news.
1) Baron was the 2nd worst dog in the class.  Most class members might remember Baron as the worst, but the worst was a miniature dachshund.  This dog was so small that no one noticed him, so Baron got a bad wrap. 
2) The trainer had to correct Baron several times in front of the other students.  He was quite embarrassed, to say nothing of his beloved handler (that would be me).
Normally, I might suggest that Baron's future in dog obedience classes or, heaven forbid, trials, is severely limited.  Unfortunately, master (aka my husband) thinks dog obedience trials give Baron something to work toward.  I think master is slightly deranged.
All for now,
Botswain

Thursday, March 31, 2011

GREAT NEWS

Hi All,
I have great news for you!  Baron just received the supreme compliment from the manager of our vet's office - OK, you doubters, I mean veterinarian, not veteran affairs.  She told me Baron is a beautifully trained dog!  No, she was not on drugs when she said this.  She really meant it.  She ellaborated that he is a beautifully trained dog, he just has a behavior problem.
Oh well, no one is perfect (except myself of course).
Botswain

Monday, March 28, 2011

Dog Obedience Class

Hi All,
Baron's trainer (#6 - # 7 escaped) urged us to enroll Baron in a novice obedience class - one in which the dogs are preparing to compete in obedience trials (readers - stop laughing, it is rude!).  Baron attended his 1st class, and, quite frankly, I was surprised.
The dogs were asked to "stand" (a command he never learned), and Baron stood!  Next, he was asked to "stay".  The handlers (that would be me) were told to drop the leash and walk away.  I did so, and believe it or not - BARON STAYED!!!  Isn't that amazing?  I almost fainted.  He successfully did a "down stay" a "heel", "sit" etc.  The biggest problem was the figure 8.  The dogs are divided into groups of 3.  There are 2 "posts" composed of a dog and handler; the working dog has to walk a figure 8 around the other 2 dogs and handlers.  Baron was fine, but I have no sense of direction.  The woman with the 2 dachshunds had to point so I knew which way to go.  I need a navigator to walk down a hallway.
I was so proud of Baron!  He did a great job.  Baron's personal trainer (#6) is in the class with her dog, and she actually hugged me at the end of the class.  She said I was able to leave my "comfort zone" and attend class with Baron.  The words "Baron" and "comfort zone" don't belong in the same sentence.
Unfortunately, as soon as we entered the car after class, Baron started barking and whining and continued to do so until 5 am!  It was not a good night.  Trainer #6 explained that Baron was merely processing all that he encountered at his new class.  Boy, I can hardly wait for the next class - no sleep in our house!!!
That's all folks.
Botswain

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Potential Trainer Concedes Defeat

Hi All,
I am sure you are all wondering how the initial visit with Baron's potential 7th trainer went.  The answer is simple: NOT WELL!!!  Norman (the potential trainer) greeted Baron calmly and with an open mind.  This was admirable because Baron took an instant liking to Norman.  While we are always pleased when our dog is fond of our guests, we are occasionally displeased at the expression of his pleasure.  Baron tried (desperately) to climb into Norman's lap.  Norman explained to our other guests that this was a compliment; Baron was merely expressing his fondness for Norman.  Unfortunately, one of our guests didn't appeciate the fondness of a 74 pound poodle (and I doubt Norman did).  In fact, when Baron took a liking to her, this guest became frightened and Baron was banished from the room.  While Baron handled his banishment admirably (not a bark out of him), it gave Norman a chance to exit the house without Baron!  Dear readers, you must be surprised and disappointed.  Baron spent yet another night with us - his beloved family.  We spent another night jockeying for position in our familial bed.
Fatiguely Yours,
Botswain
PS
Trainer #6 is still in the picture.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Baron's 7th Trainer?

Hi All,
This is a great day at Poodle Place.  Norman, a charming gentleman, actually volunteered to be Baron's 7th Trainer (as if he needs another one)! Honestly, he didn't exactly volunteer, he was roped into it.  His granddaughter has a lovely, though rambunctious, chocolate lab. Upon hearing the cost of boarding the lab while the family was on vacation, this intrepid gentleman generously volunteered to board the lab for free!!!  I know, dear readers, you are probably thinking that the lab is his grand dog, hence, family.  Baron is practically family - the kind that visits whether you like it or not.
Unfortunately for our dauntless potential trainer, he shared stories of the lab's good behavior under his tutelage.  Yours truly slyly suggested that perhaps he would like to hone his training skills; the poor  man had no choice but to nod, a sick smile plastered on his face.
You can imagine my enthusiasm at the thought of 10 days in a Baron-free zone.  As this trainer lives alone, there will be more room in his bed for Baron than there is in ours - hence 10 nights of pleasant dreams (for us, not the trainer).  Trainer #7 is in for quite a surprise - he has yet to meet his newest student.  They meet on Tuesday, and Baron is very excited (always a bad sign).
Ah what a wonderful world.
Optimistically yours,
Botswain
PS
Trainer #6 is still in the picture, as some have questioned Trainer #7's follow through.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Goodish News

Hi All,
Goodish news from Poodle Place!  Baron is actually improving!  He had his "well baby" check up at the vet's, and his behavior was admirable (for him).  He didn't pounce on the annoying cockapoo or the golden retriever.  He maintained his "stay" position until I released him.  The office staff thought I had brought in an imposter!  Frankly, that was a little insulting.  Have they no faith in Baron?  It couldn't possibly be me, could it?
Unfortunately our good day ended abruptly when I made the mistake of taking Baron to the car wash.   He took a liking to an attractive woman wearing a tight black leather skirt and jacket, along with extremely high heels. She began tottering in an effort to regain her balance after Baron established eye contact - as in eye to eye.  Baron is rather tall when he stands on his hind legs. She was a little upset but I thought Baron was being polite:  Aren't you supposed to look at the person you are speaking with?  Maybe it was his breath.
All for now,
Botswain
PS
Did I mention that Baron gained a pound and now weighs 74 pounds?  It must be all those treats provided by Trainer #6.

Trainer #6

Hi All,
Good news here at Poodle Place.  Trainer #6 is still working diligently with Baron.  She is, however, spending roughly double the time with him that she spends with her other students.  I think it's because he is so gifted that he needs special attention.
I know many of you are curious about Trainer #6, and I offered to take her picture for my blog.  Unfortunately, she was concerned about being identified and refused to pose.  She must be a very private person; this reticence could have nothing to due with potential students identifying her as Baron's newest trainer.
All for now, Baron is reclining on the leather chaise lounge awaiting a walk.
Botswain

Sunday, February 27, 2011

A bad day

Hi All,
Baron had a very bad day yesterday, which translates into my having a really bad day.  I took Baron to a field and let him off leash.  He was terrific; he ran around, got exercise and best of all, came when called.  Later, we went to another field, but Baron quickly made a beeline for the front yard of a nearby house.  He was enthusiastically sniffing around when a huge grey furry something jumped  out  (of a hole or pipe?) and climbed a tree the size of its new inhabitant.  Startled by the visitor, I handled this with my usual aplomb - I screamed.  I bravely investigated the grey animal from a safe distance and determined it to be a large cat, which obviously had claws.  I called Baron, and you can guess the rest. Of course he didn't come.  I ran toward the car and he waved good-bye - to me, not the cat.  He was busy.  I got in the car and started to drive away, when, in my rear view mirror, I saw Baron (the ingrate) running toward me.  He entered the car, and the misadventure was over.
I called his trainer (#6 in case you forgot), who said she hoped I rewarded him for coming.  Reward him?  I did reward him with a treat after informing him he was a bad dog.  Fortunately, Baron never hears that phrase and assumes it is another compliment.  The trainer seemed to think of all this was the fault of "yours truly", not Baron.  She explained that Baron is not ready to be off leash, regardless of what his previous trainer told me.  Of course this makes sense, even to me, but I thought previous successes would translate, and I guess that is not the case.
Baron feels vindicated and has requested that I get my own trainer.
All for now.
Botswain

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Horror Story 2

Hi All,
If the poodle jogging next to his owner off leash (the dog, not the owner) wasn't enough of a horror, we also encountered a beautiful, black standard poodle at a restaurant.  This will be hard to believe for those who consider Baron a typical standard poodle.  We had dinner in a very classy ($$$) restaurant, and sitting behind us was a large black standard poodle!  To be fair to Baron, the poodle was accompanied by his owners, a couple from the south; he was not dining alone. The couple was lovely - genteel - almost as well mannered as Sam, their poodle.  Sam sat at their side (on the floor - not a chair), and was perfectly behaved.  When I came to the table Sam greeted me warmly, wagging his tail.  He did not try to hug me, but perhaps he didn't know me well enough for that.  He shared dinner with his owners (theirs, not his), but upon their initiation, not his own.  He was quiet and dignified - a perfect gentleman.

As you can imagine, if Baron was in that situation, it would have been a different scenario.  He would have helped himself to our food and if it was not to his liking, would have sampled meals on the plates of other diners, some of whom might not have welcomed Baron's culinary interest.  He would have enthusiastically greeted guests arriving at the restaurant, hurtling all 72 pounds on those he was most happy to see.  He'd probably have unintentionally overturned a table or two.  Sadly, he might have been invited to leave the restaurant, accompanied by yours truly.  Sigh
The well behaved poodle at the restaurant was a reminder as to why we are now working with Trainer Number ...... I think it's number 6.
Yours in Ettiquette,
Botswain

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Horror Story

Hi All
I was recently on a dog-free vacation; this means I was free of Baron, but free to observe and interact with other dogs.  I was absolutely horrified to notice a man and his dog jogging on the beach.  The dog was right next to his owner.  The worst part is that this dog was a black standard poodle!!!  I kid you not!  This dog ran happily next to his master, and kept a watchful eye on him.  The dog was not zig zagging all over the beach.  And, to make matters worse, the dog was off leash!!!  Could there be hope for Baron?
Wistfully yours,
Botswain

Sunday, January 30, 2011

WARNING!!!

Hi All,
Baron and I learned a difficult lesson this week.  We would like to help our readers avoid the difficulty we encountered. Burs are not dormant in the winter.  This is the sad truth dear reader, burs are not dormant. Baron was happily investigating the park and, for once, responded quickly when called (hard to believe, isn't it?).  He was covered in burs.  For those of you have never had the experience of removing burs from a dog, let alone a poodle with thick curly hair, rest assured, it is not fun!  They were embedded in the fur on his ears, on his paws, his back, his chest.  Any move he made only served to make things worse.  I thought of calling his groomer, but, we all know how popular he is with her under the best of circumstances - which this was not.  Finally, after much painful (for both of us) work, I was able to remove those nasty little sticklers.
Hence, the important lesson of this week - STAY AWAY FROM BURS. 
Pricklily yours,
Botswain
PS
I did emerge from this experience without a scratch.  For once, I have to compliment Baron's patience with me.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Math Tutor needed

Hi All,
Baron has had so many trainers, I am having difficulty keeping track.  I just can't count that high.  Is it 6 or 7?  Dear reader, if you have an abacus, please advise.
Faithfully yours,
Botswain

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Guinness Book of World Records

Hi All,
Lynn, potentially the newest member of Baron's staff, just left after a two hour audition. The good news: Baron liked her, and so did we. The bad news: she thinks he needs training (where would she ever get that idea?).
It is really hard for me to count that high, but I do believe, if chosen, Lynn would be trainer #7!
OK dear readers, here is my question: Does this qualify us for the Guinness Book of World Records? I think 7 trainers might be a new record.
Baron is tired after his training, I have to go fluff his pillow.
All for now,
Botswain

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Trainer number 6?

Hi All,
I spoke with Lynn, who will be auditioning for the role of dog trainer. If selected, she will be Trainer #6 (I don't count the trainer I consulted when Baron was a young puppy). Lynn prefers positive reinforcement which she pairs with not giving any directions to the dog. For example, if Baron happens to sit, he gets a treat. I assume if he happens to jump on her, she stands there, eye to eye with Baron, until he decides to get off her, at which time he gets a treat. Little does she know how tenacious he can be. When it comes to misbehavior, Baron has stamina!
Lynn offered to do a "meet and greet" in our home at no charge. Hence I have nothing to lose.
I'll keep you posted.
Botswain

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Sigh

Hi All,
I know it has been awhile since the last update - this is because I am still trying to collect myself (not to mention Baron and Lucy). Apparently Baron has made such an impression on the groomer, that she enlisted the aid of her friend, Lynn, the dog trainer. The good news is no one was charged (not even me for a change). The bad news is the groomer wants me to speak with Lynn prior to Baron's next visit to the "Poodle Parlour".

Apparently the groomer has never worked with a dog like Baron (he is one of a kind). He's not mean or aggressive, just annoying. She asked Lynn to help her (unbeknown to me). I was unable to bring Baron to his last grooming session, and Stephanie, who did bring him, told me a trainer was there to solicit new clients. To make a long story short, the new client she had in mind was none other than Baron! Frankly, Baron has had so much training he could teach a few classes. In fact, he is writing a book - "How I flunked Dog Obedience: Baron's Guide to Learning Differences." I can relate. I hope the book is successful and pays for future dog obedience classes.
All for now,
Botswain