Therapy Dog continued

Hi All,
For those of you who were anticipating Baron's career as a therapy dog, you might want to find something else to anticipate. Baron will not make it as a therapy dog. I know this may not be a surprise for some of you, but for those of us who live with Baron, it was an unhappy shock.
Baron's trainer suggested that Baron attend Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls daily for 6 months in order to qualify as a therapy dog. He later gave up and suggested I take Baron to a nursing home and see if they let him in. It doesn't look good.
In the mean time Baron has had fun accompanying me on errands. His favorite is to the optometrist. Baron loves glasses, he thinks they are delicious. I have the leftovers as proof of his enjoyment.
All for now.
Botswain

Thankful

Hi All,
We have a lot to be thankful this year. We are lucky to live the lives we live with the people and pets we cherish. I thought a lot about that on Thanksgiving Day as I brought the cocktail franks to the extra-high table (extra-high to deter you-know-who, but it also deterred anyone shorter than 5 feet). OK, I admit Baron can be a bit of a nuisance, but I am thankful to have such a loving exuberant dog who brightens up when I enter the room. I am not thankful for the beating my Cuisinart has taken; yes, he did it again - the Cuisinart - the entire Cuisinart was, once again in Baron's toy basket.
On Thanksgiving Day, one thoughtful guest brought Baron a gift. As you can see in this photo it is a magician's hat with a rabbit inside. What you can't see is that there are 2 other rabbits in the hat. This is a "thinking" game for Baron, he has to figure out that the one rabbit has company. Not only hasn't he figured that out, he has decided that he is already a magician - he can make our cuisinart disappear (unfortunately)!
All for now. I hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful and perhaps less frenetic than ours.
Thankfully yours,
Botswain

Therapy dog revisited

Hi All,
I have given serious thought to signing Baron up for the test which certifies therapy dogs. I know, this is probably shocking news for you. It certainly shocked Baron when I told him, not to mention the numerous humans who know him well(too well). It was pointed out to me that therapy dogs do not jump (or even pounce) on people, nor do they attempt to engage their fellow canines in play while on the job. This will not deter me - after all, no one is perfect (except for myself of course)!
Therapeutically yours,
Botswain

Baron is officially 3 years old!!!

Hi All,

Baron is a bit disappointed that he did not receive any (and I do mean any) of the items on his birthday wish list. No duck dinner with cherry sauce, no elevator, no squirrel in a cage, no female poodle (never mind that one).
Unfortunately, in anticipation of a gift, Baron eagerly and enthusiastically pounced (as in jumped) on 2 visitors to our home. This did not have the desired effect, as they were still not inclined to rush out and buy him a duck dinner in cherry sauce.
I calmed Baron down by pointing out that he already has duck twice a day (breakfast and dinner) - and cherry sauce is overrated. As for the squirrel, that part of the fun of having a squirrel is chasing it, and he does that daily in our yard; hence he doesn't need an elevator or a ladder, and will just have to learn how to climb a tree (he is working on it). Also, he already has numerous squirrels - see previously mentioned yard for details. As for the female poodle - he will have to flirt when the opportunity presents itself. Unfortunately, from the brief study Baron has conducted, it appears that female poodles do not enjoy being pounced on, barked at or nudged. At this rate, Baron may remain a bachelor.
All for now,
Botswain

Dizzy

Hi All,
Yesterday was quite the day. While exiting my car in Mom's driveway, I felt something nudge me - it was an elderly yellow lab. Why didn't I notice him in the driveway? He was yellow and blended in perfectly with the autumn leaves. Thankfully he had a dog tag with his name (Dizzy - I kid you not), his owner's cell (no, she didn't answer - despite repeated attempts) and his street. When I couldn't contact his owner, I put Dizzy in my car; not easy - did I mention that he is quite overweight? He makes Baron at 71 pounds a light weight. I drove to his street, got him out of the car (also not easy), put Baron's leash on him, and began to look for his house. Silly me - I thought he'd lead me straight home. Nope.
After visiting 10 bushes, three trees and one fire hydrant, I could tell this plan wasn't working (did I mention my intellect?). I started ringing door bells. The woman in the 2nd house asked to see the dog tag and cleverly noticed a street address (did I mention my intellect?)! I brought Dizzy to his own front door, which was answered by a woman who could say 2 phrases in English: "I Babysitter" and "No speak English". This was not helpful, particularly as she wouldn't open the door, so poor Dizzy (and yours truly) was left out in the dark. I pushed the door a bit, exposing Dizzy, who was happily wagging his tail. She looked at him in total amazement, obviously unaware that he had left home and walked one mile (quite slowly, I would imagine) to make a new friend (that would be me). She was also able to say a heart felt "Thank you."
I am happy to report that Dizzy and his Ditzy rescuer are doing well.
That's all,
Botswain

Tomorrow is the Day

Hi All,
Baron is soooo excited about his birthday tomorrow. For those who have not yet purchased a gift, Baron has refined his wish list.
1) Elevator - Baron thought an elevator would be an improvement over a ladder or acorn costume. This way he can easily reach the treetops without exertion.
2) Forget all of the above and just give him his very own squirrel. Hint: the squirrel must be alive and caged. He does not want a free range squirrel actually on the range. I tried giving him a stuffed squirrel, but after 10 minutes of shaking the poor toy, he gave me a very disappointed look and pointed to the trees. I guess part of the fun is in the hunt - he just doesn't want it to be too difficult.
3) A duck. In this case Baron (and his devoted family) prefers one already cooked, in cherry sauce (due to his allergies, the sauce should not contain grain or flour). Please include instructions for reheating if it is not warm when delivered.
4)Birthday cake. We all know that chocolate is poisonous to dogs, so Baron would like a cake made of duck liver; his name should be written with potatoes.
5) A bed. He would prefer a masculine 4 poster bed with down blankets for the cold winter. Baron is used to goose down (related to ducks) as he already sleeps on several pillow goose down pillows. He wants nothing less for his own bedding.*
5) Jacket. Baron is humiliated by the warm jacket I insist he wear on frigid days. He would like a camouflage jacket with matching hat and boots (yes, dogs do wear boots or a reasonable facsimile - their paws are sensitive to snow and ice).
5)New bones. His favorite are deer antlers, preferabbly still attached to the deer.

Ok, I know you are all wondering what I am getting Baron. He requested a 2 month hiatus from visiting the beauty parlor, but that's not going to happen. I am taking him on several long walks and continuing to provide: duck and potato dog food (not inexpensive), treats as appropriate (also duck and potato), visits to his vet as necessary, dog tags, name tag, grooming, a warm bed to sleep on unless we are lucky and someone gives him a new one that he will actually use, great companionship (that would be from me personally, of course), visits to the barn to see his equine friends (from a distance), visits to the allergist if necessary (hopefully not) and any other incidentals including a full-time nanny.
I had better get busy planning the party.
Love to all,
Botswain
*Ok Ok, I added the bed and bedding - anything to give him his own space at night, which, hopefully won't overlap with mine. Next I might build a soundproof room - Baron snores. He also farts, but we won't go there.

Baron's Birthday

Hi All,
It is hard to believe, but Baron's birthday is on November 8. He will be 3 years old!!! I know many of you are wondering what to get Baron for this momentous occasion. I have several ideas:
1) A ladder. "A ladder?" you might ask. Yes, a ladder. Baron is always trying to catch those sneaky squirrels. They dash up a tree and he is left behind, tail wagging uselessly. With a ladder, Baron could chase those little critters and maybe even catch one.
2) An acorn costume. Baron thinks if he dressed up as an acorn, he wouldn't have to deal with a possible fear of heights and could simply lie on the ground and wait for the squirrels to come to him. Pretty clever, isn't it?
All for now. Don't worry I will keep you posted on more gift ideas.
Botswain

Happy Halloween

Hi All,
Is everyone having a happy Halloween? Baron is very excited about the Big Day. He wants to dress up as a cat and go trick or treating with his friends. Our village does not allow unattended dogs to trick or treat. As a result, he is whining to get me to take him house to house for duck and/or potato dog treats. He doesn't understand that most homes don't have ducks just quacking around the front yard, and most ducks don't want to sign up to become dog treats. Potatoes may be more compliant.

I may let Baron help answer the door as children come to our home. Imagine their surprise when they are greeted by a large (70 pound) curly haired cat with a bushy tail!
All for now. Happy Halloween everybody!
Botswain

Good Better Best

Hi All,
Baron is doing better; but, there is "good, better, and best". He has only achieved "better". Baron received numerous compliments from the farmers at the Farmer's Market who noticed the improvement in his behavior. However, that was last week. This week he was doing great until he tried to pounce on (growl and all) a lovely(and easily intimidated) golden doodle. The two dogs had already met at the fruit stand. Unfortunately by the time we arrived at the vegetable stand, Baron had forgotten his "new friend" and needed a refresher course. He not only intimidated the dog, but also his owner.
The dog's owner expressed her displeasure despite my explanation that Baron has undergone intense training at Barklee's School for Barking Boys.
Botswain

Sleep Distress

Hi All,

Sorry about the lack of updates, but Baron has a "hot spot" on his hind paw and keeping him from making it hotter has preoccupied me. Despite the "cone" collar and an additional inflated collar, Baron has managed, as usual, to do his best to make a bad situation worse. The good news is that we (meaning myself and Master) have thwarted his best efforts.

Yes, dear reader, we have managed (so far) to save Baron from himself! I assure you this is no easy task! It involves continuing to allow Baron to sleep in our bed (don't go there) cone collar and all. It is very uncomfortable to attempt to sleep with a 69 pound dog (he lost 2 pounds) and his hard, plastic, cone collar lying either next to or on top of me. As usual, not unlike human children, Baron goes to "Mom" 1st.

All for now - I want to beat Baron to bed!!!
Botswain

Secret Mission Aborted

Hi All,
I have good news and bad news. I went to the Assisted Living Facility today to visit with Jane and train Tanya. Tanya was gone and already replaced by an older rescue dog. A family of one of the residents saw Tanya and fell in love with her - she has that effect on people. The family adopted her! This is good news for Tanya who did not belong in an Assisted Living Facility. I will miss her but I am stoic.

To recap: above is a picture of Tanya before my best training efforts:

This is a picture of Tanya after a brief session of training. My training worked - she was adopted! Frankly, I was hoping to adopt her despite Master's misgivings, but at least I prepared her for a new family. I hope they like food fights - or at least "bowl" fights!

All for now,

Botswain

Tanya's Training continued

Hi All,

I had a lovely visit at the Assisted Living Facility with Jane (family friend) and Tanya (canine friend-in-need-of-training). The staff at the facility was almost as happy to see me as Jane was. They enthusiastically gave me Tanya's leash and directed me (and Jane) outside where Tanya was playing in an enclosed yard. She wasn't exactly playing, she was trying to get back inside.

In this picture, she had given up on re-entering the facility and was happily tossing her water bowl around.
In the last blog entry you saw a lovely picture of Tanya before I started working with her. Here is a picture of her after I worked with her.

Let me remind you that I am experienced in dog training. I worked with 6 trainers re: Baron (well really only 5 as the 1st one didn't count). I was able to get Tanya to come, sit and stay. Unfortunately when I was hiding in a corner prior to calling Tanya, Jane let her inside the Facility. She eagerly ran around (Tanya, not Jane), found the dining room (not difficult) and was happily eating table scraps when I entered the facility. I was told to demonstrate my training by asking Tanya to come. I asked very nicely, but she was busy.

All for now,

Botswain

PS

I referred to myself as an experienced dog trainer, I didn't say I was a successful one.

Secret Project

Hi All,

I know I promised part 2 of Baron's Special Day, in celebration of his graduation from Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls, but an emergency project has intervened. Not all dogs are as lucky as Baron was to be able to attend such an excellent prep school (note: in this regard, Baron doesn't consider himself lucky). I recently encountered one lovely bitch (and I mean that in the gentlest manner possible) who is not as fortunate as Baron.

This is a photo of Tanya, a lovely American Bulldog mix, who resides at an assisted living facility in our community. Tanya is 6 months old and was donated a month ago, after the last dog, a very old collie was put down.

"What does this have to do with Baron and me?" you might ask. Well, dear reader, Baron and I are advocates for dogs whose bark isn't strong enough to be heard. Unfortunately, Tanya, while adorable, as you can see, has had little training as no one is in charge of her. I found out about her when I went to visit a family friend, Jane, who lives in the facility. It was immediately apparent that Tanya, who was chained to the desk, is clueless about training basics, let alone etiquette. She didn't respond to her name, did not sit on command and, well, you get the picture. In her defense, she had just been spayed, and was chained to the desk to keep her quiet.

As my visit with Jane ended, vowed to return soon to help Tanya. The receptionist was very enthusiastic about my return visit, as everyone is clueless as to how to train Tanya. As you might recall, dear reader, Baron has had numerous trainers prior to Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls, and, I felt I had developed a particular expertise which might prove helpful to Tanya.

I will keep you updated.

Botswain

PS

Why is this a secret? Obviously Master, a major poodle fan (not a bulldog fan) would not approve. Tanya sheds!

Baron's Special Day Part I

Hi All,

As Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls does not believe in graduation rituals, Baron and I celebrated a day later with some special activities.

The first thing we did was go to the barn to visit I Love Lucy. Lucy, as you can see in this picture is a horse. Baron in uncertain as to whether he loves Lucy, and Lucy for her part is not sure she loves him.

She does love Buddy, the pony. While she is attracted to short men, Baron is just too height challenged for her taste. Here is a photo of Lucy's "love object" also known as "Minny the Moocher."

Actually, he reminds me of Jimmy Durante aka "the Schnoz" but that is dating myself.

Baron, ever the optimist, and oblivious to Lucy's proclivity for Buddy, is sure that she will fall for him (hopefully not literally).

Anyway, this soap opera will be continued. I know, dear reader, you can't tolerate the suspense: will Lucy run off with Buddy or will Baron prevail?

To be continued....

Botswain

Baron Graduated!!!

Hi All,
Baron graduated from Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls on Thursday!!! Unfortunately there was no "pomp and circumstance" as that is not in keeping with Barklee's policies.
Needless to say, we are very proud of him. Unfortunately, while Baron has graduated, we, his humans, have not. Therefore we will have occasional review sessions to insure that our behavior is a credit to Barklee School.
Baron and I had a special day together in celebration of his graduation, which I will tell you about in upcoming posts. I just had to share the good news first!
All for now,
Botswain

Not Exactly a Poster Boy

Hi All,
Baron as one class left at Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls, and it will be on Thursday. Today he was home demonstrating how much work he has yet to do (not to mention us). He was better about not jumping guests to our home, but not so great about staying on his rug when requested to do so. He seems to feel that this command means "stay if you are in the mood and there is nothing interesting happening anywhere else in the house."

Tomorrow will be the big test, when several women descend upon the house at once. Oh brother.
All for now,
Botswain

Detention

Hi All,
I have bad news, which may not be a surprise for many of you. Baron was to graduate yesterday from Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls, but, due to a slight glitch in the schedule (namely Baron's behavior), his graduation has been postponed. Yep, that's right. The headmaster suggested that Baron attend an extra 3 days at prep school as a bonus for his human family (that would be us). In other words, Baron has been detained!!!
Sigh. This means that Master has to continue to car pool with Baron, despite a marked rise in blood pressure (Master's not Baron's).
All for now - I am too dejected to write more.
Botswain
PS
Master is even more dejected!

Tomorrow is the Day

Hi All,
The big day is almost here! Baron graduates from Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls tomorrow!!! The excitement in our house is almost palpable. Master is particularly excited because after tomorrow his daily car pool with Baron is over - back to the train. I think Master will miss his special time with Baron. He now plays classical music in the car, insisting that this is something they both enjoy. I can't believe it, I am certain Baron loves country music! By the way, Baron is very nonchalant, behaving as though nothing important is happening. That's Baron for you.
All for now,
Botswain

Almost a graduate

Hi All,
Baron only has 2 more days of Prep School at Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls! We are very proud of him. His behavior has improved and so has that of his instructors. They have all learned how to work together.
We aren't sure what to do to celebrate. Master is happy he doesn't have to chauffeur Baron every day, and Baron is happy to be able to stay home and behave - well - like Baron. Actually, today Baron didn't want to get in the car for the ride home. Could it be Master's driving? (heh heh).
All for now,
Botswain

Lack of Progress Report

Hi All,
Things are not going well at Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls.
1)They think Baron is adorable. All of his instructors agree that he is not aggressive. He is simply exuberant and it is only problematic because he is big (71 pounds - remember?).
2)He is very sneaky. One of the assistants brought Baron to the car and he kissed the assistant's face. The gentleman obviously enjoyed the affection. It doesn't help us!
3) He is smart. His IQ is not only higher than mine, but higher than all of his classmates and many of his professors!
Any suggestions?
Botswain

Not ready for Prime Time

Hi All,
Baron has 7 days left at Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls. When he was first accepted at the school, the Headmaster told us he would need 20 days with Baron. I chuckled to myself, thinking "Baron doesn't need that much schooling, the Headmaster just wants to make sure his school is filled." Unfortunately, I was, shall we say, overly optimistic?

Yesterday my cousin and her husband picked us up for dinner. They made the mistake of ringing the doorbell. I don't know why people insist on ringing our doorbell. Anyway, we had not properly prepared Baron for guests (i.e. put special collar on him, sit position on rug in front of door ). As soon as he heard the doorbell, Baron sprang (and I do mean "sprang") into action. He was waiting at the door alternating his barks with growls. Once he determined that my cousin was friend not foe, his behavior changed. He happily jumped up and down on the living room couch. Between jumps he raced around the room. We had to catch him before we could leave for dinner, making us late. My cousin would have been annoyed, but she was laughing too hard. At least we are entertaining.
I wonder who will get the demerits, Baron or us?
All for now,
Botswain

Not There Yet

Hi All,
I guess you won't be surprised by this, but Baron is not exactly fully trained yet. He has almost completed 3 weeks at Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls. He is greatly improved, but there are a few kinks in his etiquette.

Last night we entertained the parents of our daughters boyfriend, D. We welcomed everyone to "Monty Appreciation Day." Monty is Grant's small imperfectly behaved dog. We knew that after an evening with Baron, Grant's family would have a new appreciation for Monty. Unfortunately, we were correct.

Baron (in all fairness) behaved better than usual - until one crucial event in the evening. Baron decided he really likes D's father, and demonstrated this by trying to get in his lap. I know it is hard to believe, but not everyone enjoys a 71 pound lap dog.
Baron goes back to school tomorrow.
Botswain

Baron Better Behaved

Hi All,
You haven't heard from me in awhile because Baron is still at Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls on a daily basis. The good news is that Baron's behavior has improved!!! I am no longer being dragged down the street, or chasing him to get his leash on (his favorite game). He does jump on me from time to time, but no one is perfect (except for me, of course).

The big test will come tomorrow when Baron goes to the Beauty Parlor for his monthly hair cut and spa treatment. He draws the line at nail polish, but does enjoy his pedicure. The groomer usually lies awake the night before Baron's appointment. She is afraid that if she were to fall asleep she would have a terrifying nightmare about a huge (71 pounds - don't tell him) black poodle pouncing on her. Unfortunately, Baron usually lets himself out of his crate, so she doesn't always see him coming. Her biggest fear is that he will open the crates that contain the other hooligans and there will be mayhem.
All For Now,
Botswain
PS
In case you were wondering, Baron's spa day is an excused absence from Barklee's School.

1st Report from School

Hi All,
On Friday I had a training session with Baron at his school. It took me almost 2 hours to get there - I think Andover would be more convenient. When I arrived, Master was already with Baron's teacher, John. I have to admit, Baron responded very well to John's commands. Unfortunately, when I called him, Baron gave me one of his "oh it's you" looks which translates into "I'm not in the mood right now." John showed me what to do when Baron doesn't obey, and it worked quite well - at school. Once Baron was home for the weekend, he became a slightly better behaved Baron. Translation: he is still the Baron.
I'll keep you posted.
Botswain

Prep School - Day Three

Hi All,

Baron has now completed 3 days of prep school at Barklee's School for Barking Boys and Girls. I hate to admit it but he was rejected by both Andover and Exeter. We have had to launder his navy blue blazer twice due to, well, never mind. The good news is that we have already seen an improvement in both my husband (Master) and Baron!!! Master responds much quicker when asked to do something (take note female friends) and Baron is trying really hard to sit when asked to do so. Of course he is much better at sitting when not asked to do so.
Details to follow.
Botswain

Prep School: Day One

Hi All,
It is official! Baron is now enrolled in Prep School and has lived through his 1st day. He will car pool with my husband each day. My husband grabs his brief case and meets Baron at the door to the garage. At the end of the work day, Master and Best Friend return home together. It is true that many of the dogs spend a night (or two or three) at "school." My husband won't allow this as Baron would be forced to sleep in a crate - unless the headmaster allows him to sleep in his bed, preferably between him and his wife!

This is all very exciting! I will keep you posted on developments as they occur.
Botswain

Goodish Behavior

Hi All,
Today Baron accompanied me to the physical therapist's office (mine not Baron's). The physical therapist was impressed by Baron's improved behavior. This was rather surprising as Baron has not yet attended prep school. Perhaps registering Baron for prep school has accomplished enough? I am serious - Baron acted like any well-behaved dog with a bone (admittedly an antler). He attended to his bone without tickling the physical therapist (she is very ticklish) or jumping on her patient (that would be me).
Maybe Baron does not have to attend prep school - he only has to register to receive the desired effect.
This is quite promising.
Botswain

Prep School

Hi All,
Baron had an interview yesterday with Norman, the headmaster of a prep school we are considering. Norman asked (and I quote) "What is this dog's problem?" Of course, I thought he meant the dog had no problems and I was simply overly anxious. Unfortunately, he meant that the dog (that would be Baron) has problems - where to start?

Norman said Baron is (and, again I quote) "out of control." He was not impressed by Baron's warm greeting of my husband when he arrived at the prep school office (warm greeting = jumping on the love object i.e. my husband). Norman did have John, a large man who is his assistant, conduct a test for aggression. John knocked on the door and then entered the room, while making scary noises and threatening gestures. Baron observed him and obviously thought "what is this man's problem?" I guess it is a good thing that Baron didn't attack him. I do remember John saying about our last dog, Byron, "When I meet a new dog and he tries to bite me, I don't take it personally because I don't have a history with that dog." Look out John, you will soon have a history with Baron.

The good news is that Baron was accepted at Prep School; which is also the bad news. Baron will attend prep school until he graduates (should we all live so long). Stay tuned for updates.
All for now,
Botswain

A Day at the Spa

Hi All,
Baron is certainly leaving his "mark" so to speak, at the the groomer's. After an exhausting half day at the groomer's (for the groomer, not Baron), he is home relaxing. Apparently Baron is her most difficult dog, and for scheduling purposes, she thinks of him as 2 dogs. He is either wiggles or licks the groomer's face in an effort to avoid being groomed.

To add to the chaos, Baron is able to let himself out the crate. He then socializes with the other dogs, who behave well enough that they aren't crated. Baron enjoys a rousing game of Ring around the Groomer. This does not please the groomer, who takes a tranquilizer or two prior to greeting Baron. She knows he doesn't mean to be so rambunctious and said, "He is just so darn happy." The good news is that we have raised an exuberant dog who exudes self confidence. Baron's self esteem is so high that he can't imagine anyone being annoyed with him - ever! The bad news is that we have raised an exuberant dog who exudes self confidence.
All for now - I'm off to buy a gift for the groomer.
Botswain
PS
Baron does look cute!

Greeting the Boyfriend

Hi All,

My "beloved" spouse (hint of sarcasm, in case you can't tell) will agree to reform school - but only for me, not Baron. He will, however, consider a prep school, preferably in the east. I can see it now - Baron in a navy blue sports jacket, tie and gray slacks. He will probably be the best groomed dog (if not the only dog) in the school. I, however, will be attending classes in striped pants and shirt (not at all flattering).

You might, dear readers, be wondering why I am once again motivated (more like driven) to register Baron for an "advanced learning" program. There is a simple explanation. My daughter brought her boyfriend, D, to "meet the family" which includes Baron. The good news is that Baron really likes D. In fact, one could almost say he "loves" D. As usual, Baron forgot that he is neutered. D, a dog lover, did not appreciate the show of affection. He was particularly displeased when (admittedly by mistake), Baron ripped his shirt. The shirt was not actually his, but belonged to his brother. The other piece of good news is that this gave my husband and myself the opportunity to have contact with D's extended family. The bad news is that this was not the best context in which to familiarize ourselves with them.

By the way, I am using the initial "D" to protect the innocent (no, the innocent one is not Baron).
All for now, I am off to the tailor's and perhaps the men's clothing store.
Botswain

Reform School

Hi All,
You have not heard from me in awhile because I have been busy researching canine reform schools. Yep - you got it - I am done with you-know-who. The latest is that while in the midst of a project on my computer, I naively left my eye glasses unattended on the table when I went to the kitchen. I heard my beloved spouse raising his voice (translation - yelling!!!); the next thing I knew, he came storming into the kitchen holding what was left of my glasses. One lens was in my beloved enraged spouse's hand (chomped on - the lens not the hand). The frame was not intact. I know this is hard to believe, but I was not in a good mood. These were my favorite prescription reading glasses - and they were brand new!!! I'm sure you already know who the culprit was - Baron (of course).
I don't care how warmly I am greeted at the optical shop - this has got to stop. Does anyone have any ideas as to how to stop this $$$$$ behavior? It occurred to me that Baron might need glasses, so I had his eyes checked. His eyes are fine. The recommendation was to get him his own pair of glasses so he will stop playing with mine. I doubt that will help, but I have searched the pet stores for "play" eyeglasses, just in case.
All for now, I have to retrieve the newspaper; I want to read it before Baron does.
Botswain

Imperfect

Hi All,
OK, I admit it - Baron is not perfect - I won't, however, admit how far from perfect he is. I caught him in the backyard trying to engage the gas company meter man in a playful game of "Pounce on the Meter Man." Baron thoroughly enjoyed it, the meter man looked exhausted (though not as exhausted as Baron's groomer).

Baron was particularly excited when my brother, Jon, came to visit. At first Baron greeted Jon by using his most ferocious growl. When this did not produce the intended result (my brother did not cower in a corner), Baron licked Jon's eye glasses, ears and sleeves. My brother commented that all he needed was a bar of soap to complete his "shower." Baron dislikes being groomed, and perhaps thought an effort at grooming my brother would scare him away. Is my brother brave or what?
All for now,
Botswain

I give up!

Hi All,
I know you are thinking this must be a slow news week at Poodle Place. Oh, that you were correct. No, it is not a slow news week. Jaws (aka Baron) has been quite busy. I have stopped taking him to dog parks (see previous 100 blog entries for information), so he has spent his time trying to engage his colleagues in play while we are on "quiet" walks. Of course, with Baron, no walk is quiet. He amuses himself by trying to catch squirrels or by trying to ingratiate himself or intimidate with his peers. So far, he is not successful at either venture.
I have to go, it is Baron's bedtime - thank goodness! More tomorrow.
Botswain

This Poodle Lover is Not Laughing

Hi All,

Things have gotten expensive here at Poodle Place. No, I am not referring to Baron's grooming, which, by the way, is no bargain. It seems that either poltergeist resides here (a curly haired 4 legged one) or Baron has been doing serious damage to our eye glasses and their cases. He has chosen a very expensive snack which does not have enough nutrients to sustain him.

I went to the Optical Shop to buy yet another pair of eye glasses. Baron went with me and was greeted warmly by the shop's owner. The owner adores Baron because he is good for business. Baron single handedly brings in customers in need of new glasses (that would be me - not to mention my husband). This is getting out of hand, and Baron will have to come up with a more appropriate snack. For now, he is basking in his new found popularity!

Botswain

A Walk in the Woods

Hi All,
Yesterday Baron and I took a walk in the forest preserve with my friend, Debbie, and her dog, Rex. Before you read further, you should know that Rex is a Jack Russell Terrier - enough said. Well, maybe I should elaborate. Jack Russell's are known to most as the dog on the TV show Frasier. They are small and kind of cute, but are aggressive and curmudgeonly. Rex, in particular, detests other dogs, including Baron (I know this is hard to believe). Fortunately, Rex has a touch of dementia and once we have started walking together, he forgets his hatred (I had a mother-in-law like that).
On this particular walk, Baron received compliments from numerous passerbys. Rex (and Debbie) started to feel badly. This ended when 5 women on horseback approached. They too complimented Baron until he lunged at one of the horses. They rode off rather quickly, the compliment truncated. I didn't get to explain that Baron, who has no concept of size (his or anyone else's) just wanted to play. He thought the horse was a large mastiff.
All for now,
Botswain

To Catch a Thief

Hi All,
It's been awhile since I last wrote. I have been busy with damage control here at Poodle Place. Someone is stealing from us. My husband's glasses (prescription) are missing, my make-up case was missing, toothpaste was missing - the list goes on.
A thorough search of the premises led to the discovery of the missing tooth paste (on the floor). The eye glasses have yet to be discovered. We only have one suspect in custody - Baron!!! He is at it again. He is proclaiming his innocence but we don't believe the wily critter.
All for now. I'll keep you posted
Botswain
PS
The observant reader may note that I have not mentioned the fate of my make-up case. That is because I found it in a cupboard which Baron can't reach. The culprit seems to be my own absentmindedness.

Temporarily Trainerless

Hi All,
This has been a hectic time here at Poodle Place. For reasons beyond my control I have been unable to schedule Denise (Baron's 5th Trainer). In her absence Baron has spent time snacking on my glasses case, helping himself to unattended sweet potatoes (cooked of course), and dreaming about his girlfriend, Lexi. He is still not allowed to get married (see previous entry). Oh, according to Baron, on the plus side, he has consistently helped empty the garbage - yep, one kleenex at a time. At least things aren't boring.
Botswain
PS
Baron insisted I inform my readers that he has successfully entered several stores (with me) and received numerous compliments - not on his behavior but on his personality and attractiveness. I, by the way, received no compliments. I did learn that when a store manager approaches you and asks if your dog is a seeing eye dog, it is not a good sign for his future in the store.

Baron's girlfriend - Is it Serious?

Hi All,
It is true, Baron has a girlfriend. Her name is Lexi, and she is a chocolate lab he met at the dog park. She is age appropriate, has a good personality (definition: she can handle Baron) and is quite attractive (definition: not overweight, which many labs are). I think this might be a serious relationship because, when Baron thought I wasn't looking, I saw him lick her ears. For the uninformed, ears are erogenous zones for dogs.
Rumors are flying about the happy couple. I took Baron to the vet's office yesterday and informed Sheila, the vet tech (and a Baron fan) about his budding relationship; she requested an invite to the wedding! Baron is not ready to get married and move into the dog house. First of all, he sleeps on our bed (he prefers the pillow). Secondly, he is a traditional male who no self-respecting dog (I dislike the word "bitch") would want to marry. Baron's idea of taking out the garbage is one kleenex at a time! Thirdly, he does not retrieve the paper. I have been too embarrassed to write about this, but Baron's idea of bringing in the paper is ridiculous. To get Baron to accompany me to the front door to retrieve the paper I have to sing the newspaper song (We're going to get the paper, the paper, the paper etc). He trots cheerfully (chuckling behind my back) to the foyer where he plops down on the rug and watches while I retrieve the paper! Our last poodle, Byron, at least accompanied me outside. Baron dislikes inclement weather.
As you can see, the rumors Sheila started at the vet's office are greatly exaggerated. When we paid (a requirement to exit the office), the entire staff was talking about Baron's new relationship. It must have been a slow news day!
That's all for now. Stay tuned for more details of Baron's new relationship.
Botswain

Nope, He's Not Trained

Hi All,
It was a false alarm - Baron is not trained, but is ill. He has conjunctivitis due to his allergies. This took a brief but expensive visit to the vet to determine. Baron is somewhat trained, however, because upon entering the examining room he jumped on the table. Obviously he is a dog of experience - unfortunately it is experience visiting the vet.
After 2 doses of eye drops, Baron is already feeling better, and my hopes for a new improved Baron are disintegrating.
All for now.
Botswain
PS
On the other hand, it is nice to have Baron back to being Baron.

What's wrong with Baron?

Hi All,
Things are pleasantly quiet since Baron's last training session. He is well-behaved on our outings and doesn't even bark at the Burmese Mountain Dog. He walks beside me as though he's participating in an obedience trial. He enters stores and his behavior is exemplary.
His greeting of guests to our home has been appropriate (no jumping or frisking the guest for treats). He is responsive to my commands. Things are heavenly here at Poodle Place.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH BARON?
Denise (trainer #5) said Baron's snarling at his new friend, Barkley, is indicative that,at 2 years old, he is an adult dog correcting a young dog. That sounds good to me!
Maybe Baron is a grown-up - who knew?
Keep your fingers crossed.
Hopefully,
Botswain
PS
It is almost too quiet here at Poodle Place.

Terror at the Kid's Park

Hi All,
Here's the good news first - Baron and I are safely home from the kids' park. Now the bad news. After a successful training session with his 5Th trainer (but who is counting?), Baron was meeting his friend, Barkley at the park. We arrived 1st. It is freezing outside, and Baron's faithful attendant (that would be me) noticed she was missing a glove. After trying unsuccessfully to place the leash on Baron (forget the "successful" training session), she carefully (not carefully enough apparently) closed the gate and exited the park to retrieve her glove. This would be unnecessary if Baron did the retrieving poodles are known for (hunting dogs, remember?). After crossing the street, she glanced back and noticed Baron joyfully attempting to follow her. He pushed through the gate and was heading toward the street. A car was coming from one direction, and a truck was approaching from the other. Baron's faithful attendant (that would still be me) unceremoniously screamed and waved her arms, thus getting the attention of the drivers. The driver of the car observed me and the dog, and drove by anyway. Baron is fine and I had only a mild heart attack. Oh yes, I did get my glove - which involved putting the agility leash (and collar - all in one) over his head after a brief tug-of-war. This time he accompanied me - like it or not.

Barkley arrived and I suggested that he might like to have a big brother. I even had a potential sibling in mind (forget the part about my wanting a baby sister for Baron - I'm wiped). Barkley's attendant did not seem enthused about enlarging her family. The 2 dogs (yes, they are dogs) had fun chasing each other. After awhile, Baron came and stood quietly next to me. This never happens when he is playing with his buddies. He even growled at Barkley. He was clearly ready to return home. I wonder if he was traumatized by the excursion? The good news is that I had absolutely no problem putting on his leash, and he accompanied me to the car without an argument.
All for now, I'm exhausted, and Baron is taking a nap.
Botswain

Baron vs the Plumber

Hi All,
This is just a quick note, because Baron's trainer arrives soon (thank heavens). We have been working on his "greeting" behavior at the door. We have worked really hard on this, but I think there's more to be done.
Here is what happened: The plumber came this morning. I was really happy to see him, but not as happy as Baron. Although the plumber has never been to our house before, Baron greeted him warmly. He jumped on him repeatedly, despite my best efforts. The plumber is smaller than Baron and did not want to play, so Baron gave up and mugged him. This did not get either my day or the plumber's off to a good start.
All for now,
Botswain

Boots for Baron

Hi All,
Following Baron's latest brush with the veterinarian, I bought him snow boots, which made me feel utterly ridiculous - boots for a dog? Baron felt even more ridiculous, but not for long, because the boots were soon airborne, without Baron (thank goodness). He did look cute in his Manalo Blahniks; just kidding, they were too feminine. I bought Uggs for Baron (still kidding).
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get the snow boots to stay on an active dog? Our new dog park game is "find the boots before Baron can play keep-away with them."
All for now,
Botswain

Wipe out

Hi All,

Baron had his 2nd ever play date on Friday. Baron met his new good friend (perhaps only friend), Barcley, at the Kid's Park. They had a blast. Barcley also repressed the fact that he is neutered, and he and Baron rolled in the snow - something they both seemed to enjoy. They played tag, chase, hide and go seek, and ended with a rousing game of "tackle the humans".

We called it quits after an hour, and Baron and I headed to the bank, where until Friday, Baron was always a welcome guest.

At the bank, I glanced down at the carpeting and saw - BLOOD!!! Lots of blood. Dear readers, I do not do well with blood, in fact, I get a little hysterical (OK - more than a little). I was especially hysterical that the blood was obviously Baron's. You may recall that Baron has an autoimmune disease and everything becomes a big deal. We went from the bank to the veterinarian's. Fortunately, it is a superficial cut, and Dr. Wagner put neon green and "yucky tasting" tape on him. If you look carefully at the picture, you can see the green tape and the blood (ugh).

Baron is quite proud. He is convinced that his wipe out at the park means he competed in the Olympics, and Baron being Baron, he is sure he won a trophy!

All for now.

Botswain

PS

I am having difficulty with editing my blog - especially the photos. If anyone knows how to do this, please fill me in.

Westminster Dog Show

Hi All,
Dear readers, you might have been watching the 2010 Olympics, but here at Poodle Place the big competition on TV was the Westminster Dog Show. While a toy poodle won "Best in Class" at the Westminster Dog Show, it was a Scottie who won "Best in Show." I asked a friend how a judge could possibly determine "best in show" when evaluating several breeds. She commented on the importance of the dog's engaging personality and enthusiasm.

Upon hearing this, I have decided Baron can compete in dog shows! Let's face it dear reader, no dog could possibly be more outgoing than Baron. He will enthusiastically jump on the judges (if he likes them), thus expressing his winning personality ("winning" might be a misnomer). As long as "good behavior" is not a criterion, he'll be fine. Actually, the winning Scottie did jump on his handler. A Scottie weighs less than Baron, but it is the same expression of enthusiasm. It is not fair that a larger dog should be judged differently - it is size discrimination!
See you at the show,
Botswain

The Children's Park

Hi All,
Baron has been home from Boot Camp for 5 days, and there is still marked improvement in his behavior. He is more polite, and rather than jumping in my lap, he drapes his 70 pounds over my lap; it's much more considerate, don't you agree?
Unfortunately, we are still having "issues" with dog park behavior, which is particularly interesting because I haven't taken him to a dog park. I had the not-so-brilliant idea of taking Baron to a fenced in children's park. It is vacant in the winter, because at 20 degrees with 8 inches of snow, in our neighborhood no self-respecting parent would let their child outside. For us it's ideal because Baron would be the only dog in a small, confined space.

Here is what happened: Baron entered the kid's park with his usual exuberance. He ran around, searching for other dogs; upon finding none, he searched for me. I was hiding behind the large toy train. He quickly located me, and Baron and I then ran up and down the ramp which composes the interior of the train. Well, Baron ran, I was stepping gingerly so as not to injure my bad knee. Once Baron tired of this sport he switched to his favorite game "Grab the Glove". Unfortunately the glove he tried to grab was not only mine, but was placed on my frozen hand. I resorted to a quick game of "keep-away" as in "keep the glove away from Baron so my hand will stay warm." After we both tired of this game, Baron looked longingly at the swings with an expectation that I place him in the swing and push him. Let's face it, even I have my limitations as to what I will do for my dear dog.

Unfortunately, when it was time to leave (i.e. I had had enough "fun"), Baron, like most children (which he is not - his is a dog, in case you forgot) did not want to leave. He refused to let me place his lovely "gentle leader" collar on, and instead was on his stomache with his haunches in the air in his typical "let's play" position. I was standing there trying to disguise my frustration (not to mention - I was freezing!). I put the gentle leader in my pocket and took out the agility leash. For the uninformed, the agility leash is basically a rope (mine is red) which loops easily around the dog's head; hence it becomes both a leash and collar. It even has a handle. Baron quickly grabbed the handle and played his 2nd favorite game, "tug of war." I tired of this game after about 5 seconds and grabbed the ingrate's collar, put the damned agility leash on and took him to the car. I did not have fun.
Dear Readers, I'll bet you can't wait to run out and get your very own standard poodle.
Botswain
PS
While Baron and I were at the Children's Park, several people stopped their cars to watch and chuckle. I like to think Baron and I are doing our part to brighten up a cold, gray winter's dayl.

Baron - Rude?????

Hi All,
I just returned from a relaxing vacation in Florida, while Baron attended Boot Camp. He was at his trainer's (Denise) home for an entire week, and I think it actually helped, although his report card was a little disappointing.

Denise thinks Baron is rude! Fellow poodle lovers, this is hard to believe. Denise doesn't appreciate it when Baron jumps on her after she has been away from him for a significant amount of time (10 minutes) he is expressing affectionn not rudeness. She also said that while Baron is not aggressive with other dogs, he does instigate disagreements amongst his peers. She considers his behavior "inappropriate"! Can you imagine that? Baron inappropriate? OK he does like to mount other dogs (males and females alike), but he repressed the fact that he is neutered. Denise suggested that he continue to visit the dog park, but only a small one, and only with one other dog in attendance. Perhaps Denise should tell that to Baron.

I must admit that Baron's behavior has improved. He doesn't jump on me upon my return, he doesn't try to push past me down the stairs, and he listens when I tell him to "wait." Unfortunately, he still sleeps on my bed at night, but he looks so cute in his pale green PJ's with the navy blue mailmen, I don't have the heart to send him away.
All for now,
Botswain
PS
Of course, he has only been home for one day. We have to see what day 2 is like.

Baron's first yoga class

Hi All,
I am pleased to announce that I "centered" myself and took Baron to his first doggy yoga class. Baron was also "centered" - on the dog next to him. It was a very cute class. Twenty five dogs attended; they ranged in size from the Newfoundland to the bijon. There were golden retrievers, golden doodles, a Brittany spaniel, but only one poodle. I have to give Baron credit - he tried to behave. We prepared for the class by running around outside in the frigid weather; came indoors where I threw a ball and Baron ran up and down the stairs to retrieve it. This game didn't last long, because Baron apparently decided I should contribute to the ball retrieval.

The Yoga class was held in an exercise room on the second floor of a health club. I wish I had a picture of the faces of the people working out, as we all entered the exercise area! The club supplied water for dogs and humans, and each dog received a baggie of treats. With our faithful canines by our side (some were more faithful than others), we did a little yoga. At one point the dog was supposed to be draped over us, but a certain poodle (the only poodle) stood on my stomach and licked my face. We massaged our dogs, which Baron clearly enjoyed. Is there a masseuse in his future (that would not be me)? At the conclusion of the class we all marched around the room to the "Caissons are Marching Along." The dogs then had a brief play time. Baron was, for Baron, awesome.
I hope I will have pictures to share.
Botswain

Dog Park Terror

Hi All,
Baron and I (well, actually just me) have been enjoying the new smaller dog park, until today. Baron was playing quite well with a lovely Burmese Mountain Dog. They were chasing each other, barking and then taking a "time out". Really cute. In the midst of this fun, a new dog (to us only), Vera, entered with her master. Vera is a rescue dog. Baron greeted her enthusiastically - a little too enthusiastically. Vera began growling and showing her teeth (never a good sign). Her owner told me Vera doesn't usually act like this and could hurt Baron. Needless to say, Baron and I made a calm,hasty exit - ok, I was screaming a little hysterically.

The discussion afterwards was about whether Vera and her owner should have left because she was aggressive. Also, my husband pointed out, we don't know whether she would have hurt Baron or whether he would have retaliated. Isn't that just like a man? I felt there is no reason to hang around to see what would happen.
What do you think?
Botswain

The Bandanna Bandit

Hi All,
We've had a mystery here at Poodle Place. To Baron's delight (and mine), my "human" son was home for a week. Although he is 6 feet tall, Bret was almost knocked over by Baron's enthusiastic greeting - reserved for family members only, thank goodness. Bret has a a unique sense of style and often wears a bandanna on his head (it goes well with the beard). The bandanna disappeared! All of the usual culprits were questioned (beginning with me of course), but no one had seen the bandanna, and Bret returned to New York without it.

Several days later, the bandanna was found! During our search of the premises, we neglected to check Baron's toy box. As may recall from the blog entry posted on 10/12/09, Baron has a history of claiming various items which are not his (remember the cuisinart?) and placing them in his toy box, as though they were his - right! Yes, the toy box, another great idea of Baron's trainer (#5) bites the dust.
Botswain
PS
I suspect Baron emulates Bret's style. What do you think?

The Rescue Dog

Hi all,
I have decided that unless I have at least 2 hours to stand in the cold and watch Baron roll in the snow with his friends, our dog park is just too large. I need a small dog park which will increase the chances of catching a racing dog. A park the size of a small driveway might suffice.
I just tried a new park which is much smaller and it was easier to catch a moving target (that would be Baron). At the park, I met a young man, Jim, who had a lovely, perfectly trained (unlike you-know-who)rescue dog, Buddy. Buddy is a mix: part shepherd, chow and rottweiler.
Today's blog entry is about the trauma Buddy experienced before his rescue. He was approximately 2 years old when he was found wandering in the Missouri woods, chained to one of his litter mates. With only 5 feet of chain between the dogs, their movement was limited. Buddy was wearing a choke collar which had not been replaced since he was a small puppy; it was embedded in his neck and had to be surgically removed. Initially Buddy was fearful in unpredictable ways, and either barked frantically or cowered. Jim said Buddy has "street smarts" and is superb at protecting himself, which explains how he survived. Buddy is now about 6 years old, and is obviously flourishing. He is a great companion for Jim, and displayed impressive patience with Baron.
I am writing about Buddy because those of us who love and value our dogs can't imagine the abuse suffered by pets who fall into the wrong hands. We will never know what Buddy experienced. He and Jim are lucky to have found each other. Adopting a rescue dog isn't for everyone. Given Baron's health issues and personality quirks, he probably sounds like a rescue dog, but he wasn't. I got him from a breeder and kept him after he developed an autoimmune disease as a puppy. The point is: there is no guarantee with any dog.
OK I will step off the soap box now, but it riles me to think of the crimes humans commit (with no punishment) where animals are concerned.
Botswain

The Pictures

Hi All,

I have received numerous compliments on the pictures I recently posted on my blog. I thank all of you for your obvious appreciation of Baron's physical attributes. He is a terrific dog - and so handsome! Unfortunately, while I can take credit for Baron's hair cut (I found the groomer), and how handsome he is (I found him), I can not take credit for the pictures. Future blog updates will include my pictures of Baron (don't get excited) or perhaps pictures of my thumb, but those 2 pictures were taken by a lovely woman I met at the dog park. She had a large camera with her and was taking photos of her dogs. She was kind enough to take some of Baron, and e-mail them to me.
How nice was that? I really appreciate her kindness and wanted to share a warm thought.
Botswain

The lost keys

Hi All,
When we last saw our heroine (that would be me), she was valiantly searching the snowy ground for her car keys, eager to return home. Fortunately, I found them inside the bottom of my snow pants. Thank goodness I was wearing jeans underneath or I would have entertained numerous canines and their primate companions. I was particularly eager to return home to change clothes, as Baron's new Doberman friend decided to mark his territory - that would also be me. Yep, you got it. Apparently, the doberman wanted Baron to remember who is the alpha - that would not be me, I'm just a stand-in for a fire hydrant. No more information is forthcoming on that disaster.
All for now,
Botswain

The Orange Whistle

Hi All,

During the cold weather, the best way for Baron to get a workout (i.e. rid himself of his excess energy - if that's possible) is to run around the dog park. I just love it when he does that, because, with any luck, he will stay out of trouble at home.

Unfortunately, there is a glitch. Baron has such a good time playing with his friends, he doesn't want to come when called. He has little reaction to the cold weather. I, of course, am standing there obsessing about frostbite, while my canine companion, oblivious of my predicament, cavorts with his buddies. This has become the challenge.

Never fear, dear readers, I am armed! What am I armed with? A whistle! During Baron's 1st dog obedience class, we learned how to train the dogs to respond to a whistle. I won't bore you with the details, but it involved weeks of whistling and rewarding Baron with liver sausage (ugh). My house smelled of liver sausage, I smelled of liver sausage; I washed my hands so frequently, it was like a dress rehearsal for h1n1 flu prevention. It was a canine aphrodisiac - dogs of all shapes and sizes wanted to lick my hands. Baron happily rushed to my side when I blew the special neon orange whistle (actually a whistle for boaters). I felt in control, it was worth the large investment in liver sausage (and the odor) - until now.

Yesterday at the dog park, not only did Baron fail to check in with me, he forgot about my very existence! I had stood in the icy dog park for 1 hour, feeling like a shoo in for "Dog owner of the year (or at least of the winter)". I called my beloved pooch, who didn't hear me. I then blew the whistle, which was hanging on a cord around my neck - a perfect fashion accessory. There was no response - at least not from Baron. My fellow humans all turned to gaze at me, as I stood there, ineffectively blowing my orange whistle. It did accomplish something - 5 dogs who must have taken dog obedience from our 1st instructor came dashing to my side, in fact, the doberman almost knocked me over in his eagerness for a treat, but not a poodle in sight - at least not mine.

Finally, 2 humans took pity on me, corralled Baron and pointed at me. He looked over at me, obviously thinking "Oh, her". He then ran to my side, thank heavens. I was able to get his leash on and make my frozen way to the car. That's when I discovered the hole in my pants pocket where I keep the car keys.

Stay tuned for the rest of this icy tale.

Botswain

Playing at the Park

Hi All,
We returned to the infamous dog park today, where Baron was the only pooch around. Of course, it was about 22 degrees, but who's counting? I was absolutely frigid (referring to body temperature only), but Baron was just fine, thank you. He was as perky as ever. He happily accompanied me for a brief walk, until a couple of his fellow canines showed up. He was off and running with his new friends. He is quite social, and doesn't mean to annoy anyone. This picture is slightly deceptive because after it was taken, Baron did try to hump the shepherd, but no one is perfect!

All for now,

Botswain

Greeted by a Baron

Hi All,

Baron's trainer came today. She thinks he is doing much better; hard to believe isn't it? He came when called (he only does that when she is there), and even stayed once. He was happy, enthusiastic, and willing to do almost anything she requested. Unfortunately his "greeting" (as in at the front door) behavior is not up to Emily Post's standards, hence the trainer recommended continuing work. I already look like an out-of-control anxious parent when visitors come. I am at the door with a bright pink spray bottle (water and a tiny bit of vinegar) yelling "ick". If our visitor is someone Baron is fond of, the she is lucky to enter the house walking as opposed to lying on the ground underneath a rather large poodle.
My current plan is to record the trainer's voice and play it when necessary. Then I will be at the door with a spray bottle, yelling "ick" and playing a recording of the trainer sternly correcting Baron. Oh brother.
Botswain

Home Again

Hi All,
I just returned home from vacation, and was greeted with suspicion by the cab driver who picked me up at the airport. I suppose he had not seen anyone dressed like this since he left his native country. I will admit my attire was in marked contrast to that of my fellow travelers. In lieu of gym shoes, jeans, and a baseball cap, I was wearing battle fatigues, combat boots, knee and elbow pads as well as a black velvet riding helmet (horse, not bike). Along with my luggage, I was carrying an adorable white rubber goose dressed in bathing trunks sitting in an inner tube - the goose squawks when squeezed.

I had to reassure the cab driver that the address I gave him was indeed my home address and not that of a mental institution or outpost for eccentrically dressed freedom fighters. OK you are probably wondering why I was dressed in this attire. No, I was not riding in a fox hunt or preparing for an assault from a foreign country. It is quite simple, and, as I already told you, I was returning home. Come now readers, we all know what this means: Baron will be waiting. The dog who greets me with unbounded enthusiasm upon my return from bringing in the mail (perhaps he thinks there is a letter for him) is usually apoplectic when I return home from a long journey. Definition of long: anything 1 hour or more. In this case, it was "more" as in 2 weeks.

I cautiously entered the house and heard excited barking. I opened the door to the kitchen and Baron sprang. He took little notice of the squawking goose I held in front of him. It was then that I realized my near-fatal mistake: I should have forgone the outfit described above and instead worn a suit of armour. Baron now weighs 70 pounds and is totally unaware of how large he is. He is a toddler in dog's clothing. Like a toddler, Baron wants to sit in his Mommy's lap, even if "Mommy" is now sprawled on the ground, trying to remove her riding helmet (which is very uncomfortable when you are lying on a marble floor), and still holding the rubber goose in an effort to divert Baron's attention.

Anyway, you have the idea. I am home now, and will give you more updates on life at Poodle Place - bruises and all!
Achingly,
Botswain